A parody homage to Matt Levine's "Money Stuff" newsletter of 2026-08-03 (Bloomberg Opinion). Not affiliated with Bloomberg, Matt Levine, or any fund mentioned. Learning-level companies are fictional. The documentary finale dramatizes real events: dialogue and decision cards are invented framing, chart paths are illustrative between the reported numbers, and every factual beat carries a source stamp (research date: 2026-08-04; later developments are not covered). Nothing here is investment advice — the game is literally about how a very smart person lost billions.